Letter to my 18 year Old Self

Dear Therese,

You’re 18 right? And it’s just about to become the new millennium – the year 2000 – just imagine!!
This letter is from you, in 10 years time, when you’re 28 and and the decade is almost over. On December 31st 2009, I’m writing this letter to you to give you some much needed advice so that you don’t make the same many, many mistakes I did along the way. Trust me you need this advice cause no one else is going to give it to you!

At this stage you’ve just started college. You put Arts – Maynooth on your CAO Form because everyone expected you to go to College but you had no idea what to study as all of your career suggestions were dashed. English, History & Sociology? Therese C’mon seriously? The only reason you’ve decided to study English is because you got an A1 in Honours English that you weren’t expecting. That is NOT the right reason to study something. As for History & Sociology. Well it’s like choosing the least objectionable subjects and saying “yeah I don’t mind getting a degree in this”.
Therese, trust me when I say you and I both know you don’t want an Arts degree. It will get you absolutely nowhere and where the English will maybe help you with your writing, the other subjects will get you nothing. In fact, you’ll spend the 7 years after your degree realizing you’ve forgotten everything you spent so long learning!!
You will spend the next 3 months wanting to quit college because all of your friends have left and you never made any other friends. Listen to that little voice inside yourself and leave. Your talents lie elsewhere, you just don’t know where yet.
Go to a professional career guidance counselor (which you should’ve done in secondary school) and ask for help. If you ask your family what to do they will all convince you to stay in college because you’re the only one to ever do a degree. That’s no reason to stay. And quite honestly, aren’t you just a little bit sick of people asking your family what you’re studying and for them to reply “Art I think!” or “Therese what are you studying again?…..it’s an ology of some sort, isn’t it?” Trust me, that will continue through your whole degree.
Don’t go to anyone for advice from whom you haven’t gotten encouragement or good advice from before. Most people are not giving you advice for YOUR good, they’re giving you advice from their perspective, as in what they would do or what they think is right! It’s all twaddle…..listen to yourself. What do you want?
Any career you’ve showed interest in the past was rejected, you were told you wouldn’t be able for it or you didn’t have the gumption or the strength to do it. Do you remember the time you said you might like to be a nurse or the time you said you may want to be a chef? Exactly……
THERESE, my dear girl, you were on the right track. You just didn’t get the right advice or encouragement. You do not want to work in an office trust me. There is nothing glamorous or noble in being treated like poo on a shoe from a long list of bosses that will ultimately make you sick, stressed, depressed and angry.
You need to be doing something hands on or working for yourself. Trust me when I say that you won’t be happy if you continue on the the path that you’re on. The only thing that lies ahead of you is a long line of rubbish jobs where you’ll be treated badly and will end up very unhappy.
Take a tip from me…..you’re quite a good cook and not too bad at writing. Maybe you could try something along those lines. You don’t know it yet but food will become your best friend and not an enemy like it is at the moment. You’ll lose all of that weight you put on over the years and come to understand how wonderful and fulfilling food can and should be. There is a whole culinary, gastronomic world out there for you to explore. Also, you keep saying when I write that book……you will eventually write that book!
Don’t go back to college to study things that you think you should be doing because chances are those little ventures of yours won’t succeed and you’ll learn some very hard lessons along the way.
Don’t go back to study nursing – you can’t afford it and it’ll all end in tears, much as you might be desperate for it to succeed and find yourself actually quite good at it and enjoying most of it. Also, you might end up loving technology and your laptop (yes you will own a laptop) will become your best friend……but that doesn’t mean you have to jump in head first and study what makes them tick!!!! That is not for you.
You will find someone amazing to share your life with, that’s certain, someone who you love and who loves you back (which is most important) so hold out for it and it will happen, don’t doubt it. And don’t think you have to accept anything less!
Where your family is concerned, if you know what’s good for you and if you don’t want any unnecessary hurt or pain in your life you’ll listen to me when I say……do not put yourself in the middle of other people’s arguments, mind your own business and ignore everyone elses dramas. If not, you’ll be sorry.
So here we are 10 years on and half of your life is working out very well and the other half needs a little tweaking, but that’s because you’ve always taken the advice of your favourite poem “The Road Less Traveled” by Robert Frost. You’ve spent 10 years taking all the tiny little slip roads and boreens, thinking to yourself “hmmm, this road looks a little bit interesting” then half way down, you realise there’s a mammoth sized fallen Redwood Tree blocking your path, making you turn back and go down the gritted and safe main road again.
You don’t have to take every little avenue off that road! And please don’t spend your life applying for jobs you don’t want and doing interviews for jobs you have no real interest in……you’re just wasting precious time.
But Therese, there are lots of things that will happen that are wonderful and good but I won’t ruin the surprise by telling you now.
Just know this…….if you don’t heed my advice you’ll be sitting there on New Year’s Eve 2009, staring down the barrel of a new decade with a completely clean slate…..having to start from scratch. Where that can be a great place to be starting out from, it’s also a very scary place to be starting from. Scary and terrifying not having any idea whatsoever what the future holds for you.
Life is good in many, many ways and there are many blessings in your life. But there are many ways that if I had’ve had my own advice to listen to….I could probably have saved you and me an awful lot of heartache.

Don’t feel guilty about anything, Live Life and do what YOU want to do,
Love, 28 year old Therese xxx

So here’s to 2010!
I have no idea what the future holds for me. I have nothing planned. No holidays. No jobs. No events. The year is literally a clean slate. It’s exciting but very very scary.
But I just have to remind myself that this time last year I didn’t know I’d finish my book, meet, be taught by and have dinner with Marian Keyes, start my website & blog, get rejected by lots of agents & publishers, get a wonderful Golden Retriever called Penny, and start and quit college yet again.
But I have my Stephen, Penny and my blog and that’s enough for the moment and for the 1st Jan 2010.
What’s going to happen this year I wonder……….

Happy New Year Everybody,

Love Therese xxxx

Tags: 18 year old, Advice, College, Degree, Letter, penny, stephen, Therese